dreamin4freedom

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. It is a time when the country seeks to heighten awareness of the devasting effects of domestic violence in our communities. We should all be concerned about the impact of domestic violence on women, children, and families. Domestic violence will not go away just because we refuse to talk about it openly. I wrote my book, “Setting Aside Silence (One Word at a Time) https://a.co/d/ibzistH to make it easier to discuss this hard topic. My book can serve as a handbook, guide, journal, or devotional to those who have been affected by domestic violence.

Statistics indicate 1 in 3 women and 1 in 7 men will be affected by domestic violence in their lifetime. That means we ALL know someone who has been or is being affected right now. The victims of violence are our sisters, mothers, friends and loved ones. They are all races, cultures, religions, educational and socioeconomic backgrounds. Yet, domestic violence remains a topic people are afraid to talk about. Fear, embarrassment, and shame keep many victims from speaking up. In some households, people have been taught, “What happens in this house, stays in this house”. This tradition of silence allows domestic violence to continue unchecked, leaving women and children vulnerable and unsafe.

“Setting Aside Silence” boldly defines and explains words relating to domestic violence from the perspective of a victim/survivor. It will help survivors and loved ones understand the meaning of words like “power and control”, “manipulation”, and “isolation”. The book allows each person to read at their own pace, and contemplate how the words relate to their individual experience. “Setting Aside Silence” puts the blame or responsibility of violence squarely on the shoulders of the abuser. Victims should never be blamed for being abused.

Domestic violence homicides in our country have not ceased. Access to and use of firearms have made it even more deadly and unsafe at home and work. I am listing a few tragic domestic violence homicides that have impacted our nation in the past few months:

Latricia Green Brown was murdered by her ex-husband when he entered Henry Ford Hospital (Detroit) with a weapon and shot her. (August 2025) https://www.cincinnati.com/story/news/local/michigan/detroit/2025/08/31/henry-ford-hospital-shooting-victim-cried-out-for-help/85840042007/

Larrica Gaines Smith, 41, her 15 year-old son Kristian, and 11 year-old daughter Kensley were murdered by their husband/father in their home in Alabama (see picture above). Her husband subsequently killed himself. (September 2025) https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2025/08/17/daphne-alabama-smiths-murder-suicide/85700767007/

Toraya Reid, sister of NBA player Naz Reid, was shot and killed by her jealous boyfriend. (September 2025)

https://people.com/timberwolves-star-naz-reids-sister-28-shot-and-killed-11805110

Domestic violence is a national epidemic. Women and children are being murdered, families are mourning, and our nation has yet to fully address this epidemic. There has been little to no change for our communities. There is a desperate need for domestic violence education and resources to help make our homes and communities safer. Everyone should know the warning signs of domestic violence (this is not a complete list):

Warning signs that a relationship may be abusive or unsafe:

Your partner hits or assaults you.

You are afraid of your partner.

Your partner is verbally or emotionally abusive.

You are constantly being put down and called names.

Your partner constantly stalks and/or harasses you.

Your partner is controlling,

Your partner is extremely jealous.

Your partner monitors your phone and checks your messages.

Your partner accuses you of being unfaithful.

Your partner threatens you or coerces you to do things you don’t want to (such as having sex).

Your partner threatens to harm your children or loved ones.

Your partner isolates you from friends and family.

Your partner controls your money and/or finances.

Everyone should know of and have access to resources in their communities, including how to make a safety plan and apply for a protection order in your jurisdiction. Here are some local resources to get you started:

Atlantic Street Center https://atlanticstreetcenter.org

New Beginnings https://newbegin.org/

DAWN https://www.dawnrising.org/

Northwest Family Life https://northwestfamilylife.org/

Project Be Free https://project-be-free.com

Washington State Coalition Against Domestic Violence https://wscadv.org

National Coalition Against Domestic Violence https://ncadv.org/

Society must understand when women are in the process of leaving a violent relationship, they are AT MOST RISK for increased violence, harm, and possibly death. Let’s all work toward ending domestic violence in our world. We can begin today “Setting Aside Silence”, one word at a time. https://a.co/d/6QPvvBd