dreamin4freedom

“You shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free” (John 8:32 NKJV).

There is joy in truth, there is liberty in truth, and there is a new you waiting to be set free from the lies of the past. There is freedom in saying, “I was hurt,” “I was assaulted,” or “I was beaten in front of my children.” There is no excuse for the abuse you suffered at the hands of another. There is no excuse for the pain you endured. The abuse you suffered was not your fault. That is the truth, and from this day forward, you can walk in it. You are set free today. This time, you win. (from Setting Aside Silence, S. Richard-Davis, 2023)

October is National Domestic Violence Awareness Month. All across the nation there are programs and activities focused on raising awareness about domestic violence and the harm it causes women, children and families. The truth is the devastating impact of domestic violence on our communities is huge. 1 in 3 women and 1 in 4 men will be affected by domestic violence in their lifetime. It can affect anyone, regardless of race, gender, background, education, religion, or socioeconomic status. No one is exempt. Not even people you assume are “living their best life.” As difficult as it is to hear and accept, domestic violence also affects our faith community and places of worship. The impact of domestic violence is even greater when you factor in the damage it causes children. Children who witness domestic violence are at a much greater risk of being in a future violent relationship as a perpetrator or victim.

The truth is domestic violence, also known as intimate partner violence is a frightening experience for anyone. It is characterized by a pattern of controlling, abusive behavior exhibited toward an intimate/romantic partner. There are several categories of domestic violence, including verbal abuse, physical abuse, emotional abuse, financial abuse, harassment, and stalking. Here is a partial list of warning signs of an abusive/unhealthy relationship:

• Your partner is controlling.

• You are afraid of your partner.

• Your partner is verbally or physically abusive.

• Your partner is extremely jealous.

• Your partner isolates you from family and friends.

• Your partner manipulates you.

• Your partner monitors or calls you constantly.

• Your partner controls all the money/finances.

• Your partner forces you to do things you don’t want to do (like have sex).

• You have no freedom.

The truth about domestic violence is that it will continue to occur as long as society remains silent and inactive. Silence is not golden when it comes to domestic violence, it is harmful. We must be willing to talk about it, and not act as if it is not affecting us. Friends and relatives must speak out and offer support to those they know are suffering in unhealthy or violent relationships. This takes courage. It means not ignoring warning signs when we see them. It means not being a bystander, who would rather videotape someone being hurt than call for help or render aid. If you have been a bystander in the past, I hope your heart will change after reading this. Next time, it could be you who helps someone to safety. Maybe you will be the one who offers kindness, support, or resources to a survivor of domestic violence. I admonish you to always remember your own safety when helping someone else.

Another truth about domestic violence is that victims of domestic violence are people we know: family, friends, neighbors, and colleagues. Women are getting abused, assaulted, and murdered every day. Those closest to some victims are often shocked this could ever happen to “them.” Family and friends may truly be unaware domestic violence is occurring in their loved ones life, because there is still shame and embarrassment associated with being a victim. Victims should not be embarrassed or ashamed if they are abused. Domestic violence is a crime. Abuse happens to them. It is not something anyone asks for.

This Domestic Violence Awareness Month I acknowledge the life of Lucia Kahsai, age 41, who was murdered by her abusive partner August 1, 2022. She was a mother to four children. Her life mattered.

I also acknowledge Lurdes Keymolen, age 23, who was murdered by her abusive partner on August 26, 2020. She was a mother to a young daughter. Her life mattered.

Lastly, I acknowledge Randi Jones Gratton, 40, who was murdered by her abusive ex-partner. She was the mother of two sons. Her life mattered.

All of the above mentioned murders occurred in Washington state. Another truth about domestic violence is it can and does happen anywhere.

Domestic violence survivors need support and resources in order to reclaim and rebuild their lives, and to feel whole again. Truth is, there are limited resources for women and children fleeing domestic violence and trafficking situations. There is not enough housing, shelter, clothing and food, transportation, childcare, and other necessities available to survivors in need of these resources. During Domestic Violence Awareness Month, I hope you will contribute to an agency that is working hard to protect and support survivors of domestic violence. Northwest Family Life is an agency that provides hope and healing to survivors of domestic violence and trafficking through a number of programs. Penny’s Place is their shelter for women and children. I have personally had the honor of providing advocacy/support to residents there this year. My heart was touched by their expressions of gratefulness. Community financial support enables Northwest Family Life to continue providing advocacy and support, domestic violence education, treatment for perpetrators, and community resources.

If you would like to be a light in the darkness for survivors of domestic violence and trafficking during Domestic Violence Awareness Month, I am providing the link to Northwest Family Life’s donation page. You can donate any amount at any time. We want domestic violence to end, but until it does, we will continue providing hope, healing, and support to survivors. That is the truth.

https://northwestfamilylife.org/donate/

Resources:

Northwest Family Life http://www.northwestfamilylife.org

1-800-799-7233 National Domestic Violence Hotline

National Coalition Against Domestic Violence http://www.ncadv.org

Atlantic Street Center http://www.atlanticstreetcenter.org

Hope Place Seattle – Seattle’s Union Gospel Mission 206-628-2008

Philippians 4:11-13

“¹¹ I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. ¹² I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. ¹³ I can do all this through him who gives me strength.”

One of the most popular gospel songs this past year was titled “Jireh”. Some of the lyrics were taken from the scripture noted above. It is a very stirring and beautiful song about God being our provider and us being content with that knowledge. I played it, a lot! It spoke to me. I would sing loudly, “And I will be content in every circumstance. Jireh, you are enough.” Philippians 4:11 came to my mind as I contemplated “being content” in life, and what it really means for those of us who consider ourselves Christians.

The Oxford dictionary defines “content” as being “in a state of peaceful happiness.” So I asked myself, am I content with injustice towards me, my family, or loved ones? No. Am I content when things don’t turn out the way I thought they would? Sometimes. Do I always remember God is still with me and guiding my life? Sometimes. Honestly, it can be hard to sense God’s presence during difficult times. Especially if your life seems unfair. Yet, if we understand during those difficult times, he is still with us and fighting for us, we can live in victory. We must hold on to his promises to never leave us nor forsake us. (Hebrews 13:5)

What is your response to daily challenges: unfairness, injustice, people disregarding/mistreating you, arguments that leave you hurt and unsettled, your inability to keep up with life/work balance, unrelenting health problems, family disagreements and divisions, financial concerns, emotional/physical abuse and trauma? The proper response according to scripture is to “be content” in any of these circumstances. I know this is no easy task. How often do you respond “fine” to being asked, “How are you doing?” Probably often. I know for a lot of us, the answer is not always an honest one.

Challenges of life such as those previously listed cause anxiety, depression, anger and even illness. If we are constantly upset, anxious, or depressed about life, we must reevaluate what we really believe about Jesus and his place in our lives. Some of us expect the world from him, yet do not give him space in our life until we need him. We should try to stay close to him by nourishing our minds with his word and promises. We have a remedy for what ails us when life is difficult. We just have to take time to tap in to him. He has peace for us, he has restoration for us, he has joy for us, and he has a way to heal our brokenness. His word tells us, “Come unto me all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me (not the world), for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” (Matthew 11:28-30) Amen! That is life-giving, refreshing news!

We can be content right here, right now. If we take on the yoke of Jesus. With his gentle and humble heart, we can and will find rest. We can be content with our lives, and with “what comes next” when we trust in Him. We can be content in our loneliness, our trials, our sadness, our grief, our trauma, our not being or having enough (ouch), our comparisons, and our insatiable desire to be seen in a world where we sometimes feel invisible (shout out to Ralph Ellison, “The Invisible Man”). Jesus came to make life better for all of us. Through his suffering and death, we received the gift of eternal life. His sacrifice allows us to be content in any circumstance. He walks with us, and if we quiet our busy thoughts for a moment, he will talk to us. Let’s choose to find contentment in every circumstance, even the hard ones. Jesus will meet you there, he promised.

Take a moment to quiet your heart and listen to “The Call” by Isabel Davis (no relation, except in Christ)

This post is dedicated to my children, Kaila and Jerrell. Life brings times of tribulation, but God is always there. His strength is perfect when your strength is gone. He can hold you when I cannot. Love, Mom

“I will lift my eyes to the hills, where my help comes from. My help comes from the Lord who made heaven and earth.” Psalm 121:1,2

Lifting our eyes and looking to the hills sounds like an easy thing to do. It’s not. In difficult or tragic times, my heart pounds with anxiety and worry before I’m reminded to “look to the hills.” The anguish, tears, and frustration push the Lord’s presence just a little out of my reach. Thankfully, the anguish and tears don’t last. I remember I serve a living God who gives “peace that surpasses all understanding.” (Philippians 4:7) The Lord’s peace has the power to guard or protect our hearts and minds in times of trouble and tragedy. When we are overwhelmed and looking for help or a hand to hold, I assure you your help will come. The Lord is near to the brokenhearted (Psalm 34:18). When his presence rains on us, we are comforted and strengthened.

If difficult times tempt us to doubt the Lord’s presence, we should remind ourselves of all he has done for us. Can you remember what he did for you yesterday? It’s easy to forget when we are faced with challenges and difficult circumstances. It helps to quiet ourselves, spend time alone with God, and remind ourselves he is still good. We look to the hills because he is STILL a very present help in time of trouble (Psalm 46:1).

When we are grieving, angry, crushed in spirit, and barely clutching the hem of God’s garment, we can remind ourselves of his power and presence in our lives. In life’s difficult times, while we are waiting for our hurting to stop, our tears to stop, our miracle to take place, our health to improve, our job to come through, or our love to be returned, we must remember our help is just a prayer away. Look to the hills for your ever-present help. We can still turn to our Prince of Peace, Everlasting Father, Mighty God, Lion of Judah, Lamb of God, Way Maker, Mender of Broken Hearts, and On-Time God. He is waiting with open arms to carry us through our dark times. Indeed, our help has come.

ELIJAH LEWIS, YOUR MEMORY LIVES ON IN OUR HEARTS AND OUR COMMUNITY!

“Precious Lord, take my hand. Lead me on, let me stand. I am tired, I am weak, I am worn. Through the storm, through the night. Lead me on to the light. Take my hand, precious Lord, and lead me home. (Thomas Dorsey)

When the Lord feels far away, take a listen to “Draw Nigh” by Fred Hammond

“And he arose, and rebuked the wind, and said unto the sea, Peace, be still. And the wind ceased, and there was a great calm.” Mark 4: 39

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. During the entire month of October, individuals and organizations seek to highlight the issue of domestic violence, its pervasiveness, and its devastating effects on women, men, children, and families across the nation and world. Domestic violence causes innocent women and children to face repeated violence in their homes, a place they should be safe. An incident of domestic violence can be terrifying for victims to experience. Victims can be immobilized by fear as they seek a way of escape from the “storm” that is raging before them. Just as the disciples in Mark 4 were tossed during the storm, and wondered if God cared whether they drowned, victims of domestic violence may question whether God cares about what is happening to them. The answer is “yes.” God cares about victims of domestic violence. Acts of domestic violence are against everything God represents, most importantly, his goodness and love. His commandment is to “love one another, as I have loved you, so you must also love one another.” (John 13:34)

As a former legal advocate, one of my purposes in life is speaking up for domestic violence victims and educating/informing the public about domestic violence and the harm it does to our communities. It is all of our business to protect women and children, and to work towards ending domestic violence. Abusive relationships are painful, chaotic, and destructive. Hope and healing lies in the assistance and resources provided by many local and national agencies, including Northwest Family Life, where I recently joined the staff as a part-time Community Engagement Coordinator. Northwest Family Life is one local agency providing our communities with domestic violence resources such as safe shelter (Penny’s Place), advocacy, support groups, counseling, education, intervention, prevention, and training. When these resources are combined with compassion, warmth and understanding, survivors have an increased chance at healing, restoration, renewal, and peace.

What is domestic violence?

Domestic violence, also referred to as intimate partner violence (IPV) is a pattern of behaviors used to exert power and control over another in an intimate relationship. Domestic violence can be physical, emotional, verbal, sexual, psychological or financial (economic abuse). Verbal abuse can cause irreparable harm to a victim’s self-esteem, especially if she is regularly called names like “stupid” and “bitch”. Physical violence can begin with a slap in the face, grabbing of the arms, or a push. The violence can escalate to punches, kicks, strangulation, and ultimately murder. It is important to state domestic violence is a crime. The list of crimes associated with domestic violence include assault, threats/intimidation, harassment, murder, property damage, telephone harassment, stalking, cyberstalking, unlawful imprisonment, protection order violations, and interfering with reporting domestic violence (simply put, making the phone unavailable to a victim).

According to statistics, 1 in 4 women and 1 in 7 men will experience intimate partner physical violence in their lifetime, affecting more than 12 million people each year. Additionally, 1 in 10 teenagers will be harmed in an abusive relationship. Black women experience intimate partner violence at a rate 35% higher than that of white females, and about 22 times the rate of women of other races. Black women who are marginalized are at a tremendous risk for victimization by an intimate partner (Institute on Domestic Violence in the African American Community). According to Northwest Family Life, more than 20,000 phone calls are placed to domestic violence hotlines nationwide on a typical day. Calls to Northwest Family Life increased by 40 percent during the pandemic. These calls included requests for support, resources, housing, perpetrator treatment, and counseling. One statistic of grave concern is that children who witness domestic violence are 10 times more likely to be involved in violent intimate relationships, either as perpetrators or victims. These statistics emphasize the need for society to increase efforts to end domestic violence. Ending the silence around domestic violence, and encouraging more open discussions on the topic is a way we can all take small steps to help save lives.

Warning signs that a relationship may be abusive or unsafe:

Your partner hits or assaults you.

You are afraid of your partner.

Your partner blames you for everything wrong about your relationship.

Your partner is verbally or emotionally abusive.

You are constantly being put down and called names.

Your partner is controlling,

Your partner is extremely jealous.

Your partner takes your phone and checks your messages.

Your partner accuses you of being unfaithful.

Your partner threatens you or coerces you to do things you don’t want to (such as having sex).

Your partner threatens to harm your children or other family members.

Your partner does not allow you access to finances or bank accounts.

Your partner takes your money, keys or car.

You are isolated from your friends and family.

This list of abusive and controlling behaviors is not exhaustive, however, if you are experiencing any of the behaviors listed, this may indicate you are in an abusive relationship. Ask for help. Don’t suffer in silence. There is help available. You deserve peace, safety, and a violence-free life.

How can you help a friend or loved one you suspect is being abused?

Be non-judgmental and compassionate, and listen to their story. Don’t tell them what you would do. Listen.

Ask them what you can do to help. Maybe they need money or a ride to safety.

It is okay to say “I am afraid for you” or “I am concerned for your safety.”

Find out if weapons are accessible to the abusive partner. Weapons add another level of danger and increase the urgency to plan for safety.

If you witness someone being harmed or abused, call 911. Do not put yourself at risk of being harmed.

Refer friends or loved ones to domestic violence agencies providing advocacy, counseling, resources, and shelter.

Suggest they make a safety plan. Click this link https://ncadv.org/personalized-safety-plan

**Important: A victim is at risk of increased danger or even death when she is leaving an abusive relationship.

We cannot end domestic violence without a coordinated worldwide effort of individuals, agencies, churches and other houses of faith, that are dedicated to ending the epidemic of domestic violence. We must continue to promote awareness, education, prevention and intervention. We CAN make a difference in the many lives of individuals who need support and assistance in escaping abuse. It is my belief this issue is at the center of God’s heart, He speaks to the storms that arise from the heartache of domestic violence, and says “Peace, be still.” It is our combined efforts that help provide the calm after the storm.

Here is a short list of resources for domestic violence survivors. Please consider donating to these agencies during Domestic Violence Awareness Month. It can be your step towards helping end domestic violence. Thank you.

Atlantic Street Center https://atlanticstreetcenter.org

New Beginnings https://newbegin.org/

DAWN https://www.dawnrising.org/

Northwest Family Life https://northwestfamilylife.org/

Washington State Coalition Against Domestic Violence https://wscadv.org

National Coalition Against Domestic Violence https://ncadv.org/

YWCA Seattle/King County https://ywcaworks.org

Seattle City Attorney’s Office Domestic Violence Unit

https://www.seattle.gov/cityattorney/crime-victim-assistance/domestic-violence-help

Project Be Free https://project-be-free.com

1st Corinthians 13: 4-7 (NIV) “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.“

Love, according to the above passage, “does not dishonor others,” “it is not easily angered”, and “it does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.” In this passage we see a clear picture of the right kind of love, even the “good love” that Whitney Houston once sang about. Victims of domestic violence do not receive the right kind of love when they are in an abusive relationship. October is designated as Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Having spent fifteen years as a domestic violence legal advocate, one of my purposes in life is to speak up for domestic violence victims and educate/inform the public about domestic violence and the harm it does to our communities. It is all of our business to protect women and children, and to work towards reducing or eliminating domestic violence.

Let’s begin with a brief description of what qualifies as domestic violence. Domestic violence is a pattern of behaviors used to exert power and control over another in an intimate relationship. Domestic violence can be physical, emotional, verbal, sexual, psychological or financial. Verbal abuse can cause irreparable harm to a woman’s self-esteem, especially when she is called names like “stupid” and “bitch” on a regular basis. Physical violence can begin as a slap in the face or a push. The violence can escalate to punches, kicks, strangulation, and ultimately murder. Domestic violence crimes include assault, threats, harassment, malicious mischief, property damage, telephone harassment, stalking, cyberstalking, unlawful imprisonment, protection order violations, and interfering with reporting domestic violence (simply put, making the phone unavailable). These behaviors are NOT examples of the right kind of love.

According to statistics, 1 in 4 women and 1 in 10 men will experience intimate partner physical violence in their lifetime. 1 in 10 teenagers will be harmed in an abusive relationship. Black women experience intimate partner violence at a rate 35% higher than that of white females, and about 22 times the rate of women of other races. Black women who are marginalized are at a tremendous risk for victimization by an intimate partner (Institute on Domestic Violence in the African American Community).

Let’s take a glimpse at two real life headlines from last year:

“Domestic-related murder victim allegedly attacked by suspect 1 month before death” – Fox 59

June 10, 2020

Indianapolis – Police were called to a home early Tuesday morning and found  29 year old Ashley Richardson shot to death. Her fiance was arrested for her murder. According to her sister, “he lured her there and executed her.” “He took her from us. There is no redo.” Just five weeks before the fatal shooting, police were called to the same address for a previous violent domestic incident between the same suspect and the same victim. The victim’s sister said Ashley tried to break up with the suspect after prosecutors claim he assaulted her with a hammer inside their home last month.

“Mom stabbed to death on North Side trying to help rescue friend’s daughter from boyfriend”

Syracuse.com December 13, 2020

Syracuse, N.Y. – On Friday night, a friend asked Franchelli Almonte to help her pick up her 17 year-old daughter, who was with a boyfriend who wouldn’t let her leave. Almonte drove her friend to a North Side apartment, but when the girl tried to leave, her boyfriend told her she couldn’t. He threatened her. When the girl got into the car, he threw a brick through the car’s back window. Then he came over to the driver’s side of the car, where Almonte sat. She tried to ward him off with a stick she kept in the car for self defense. Instead he stabbed her. “All she was doing was giving her friend a ride, said Amy Larrieux, another friend of Almonte. Later that night, Almonte, 36, mother of two, was pronounced dead at Upstate University Hospital, according to police and friends.

Sadly, there are many more headlines just like these. The reality is domestic violence can never be eliminated by silence. Speak up. Innocent women and children are still being murdered. Speak up. Society can no longer afford to be bystanders to the violence that occurs in families. The children who witness violence are likely to repeat the behavior as adults. Speak up. The trauma lasts for generations without intervention/counseling. There are resources, shelters, hotlines, and advocates to help you through a violent situation. Don’t let fear keep you silent. Speak up. Ask for help, or if you are given the opportunity, help someone. Here are a few ways to help yourself or others:

1. DON’T suffer alone and in silence, there are people that care.

2. DO speak up and report domestic violence.

3. DO obtain a protection order to keep an abuser away from you and/or your children.

4. DO confide in a friend, one who will listen and not judge.

5. DON’T blame victims. The violence they endure is not their fault.

6. DO make a safety plan. Click this link https://ncadv.org/personalized-safety-plan

7. DO know the warning signs of abuse (available through agency links provided below).

Following is a short list of resources for domestic violence survivors. Please consider donating to these agencies during Domestic Violence Awareness Month. It can be your step towards helping eliminate domestic violence.

Atlantic Street Center https://atlanticstreetcenter.org

New Beginnings https://newbegin.org/

DAWN https://www.dawnrising.org/

Northwest Family Life https://northwestfamilylife.org/

Washington State Coalition Against Domestic Violence https://wscadv.org

National Coalition Against Domestic Violence https://ncadv.org/

YWCA Seattle/King County https://ywcaworks.org

Seattle City Attorney’s Office Domestic Violence Unit

https://www.seattle.gov/cityattorney/crime-victim-assistance/domestic-violence-help

Project Be Free https://project-be-free.com

“Show them your heart and tell them you’ll help” is the final statement of a commercial I saw more times than I can count during the pandemic. This commercial advertisement raises awareness and money for abused animals. During the same time period, I don’t recall seeing a commercial addressing domestic violence or raising money for abused women and children. I love my cat Sierra dearly, but can our society be more concerned about animals than abused women and children? I sure hope not.

The right kind of love is kind, loving, patient, it protects and does not harm, it is not verbally, emotionally, or physically abusive. The right kind of love will always make you feel safe. The right kind of love will not isolate you from your family and friends. The right kind of love allows you to control your own thoughts and decisions.

To anyone who has been harmed or affected by domestic violence, I wish you peace, healing, and restoration. My daughter sang this song for me, and now I dedicate it to you. You are beautiful, courageous, resilient and strong. You should be given your flowers now. God bless you.

India.Arie, “Flowers”

Christians are supposed to be “the best of the best with honors, sir” (quoted from Will Smith in the movie Men in Black). We are not supposed to cuss or speak ill of others even when they hurt us. In Luke 6:28, KJV it says, “Bless them that curse you, and pray for those mistreating you.” Romans 12:14 NIV states, “Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse”. Finally, 1st Peter 3:10 NIV says, “Whoever would love life and see good days must keep their tongue from evil and their lips from deceitful speech.” We get it Jesus, we are not supposed to curse. We are yet striving to be like you.

These last two years painful things occurred that were out of my control, and there were times when a cuss word wanted to slip out. There I said it! Confession is good for the soul. The Lord’s grace and mercy brought me back to the reality that if I am going to represent Him, I have to stick to His godly standards. That is all right with me. I wrote this poem to express my feelings of hurt. Maybe you can relate, and maybe you can’t. I am sharing my heart with you:

“I Didn’t Cuss”

I didn’t cuss, I didn’t cuss, I wanted to, I felt I must.

The hurt I felt was so unjust.

Hurt from here, hurt from there, my heart was hurting everywhere.

I played by the rules that I was taught

Be kind, show love, but it was for naught.

The world had different rules to play,

In their rules I had no say.

Sit down, shut up, your thoughts don’t matter

Wait, I still have a glass ceiling to shatter.

I grew up poor, saw my brothers imprisoned,

It changed my mind, and gave me a new vision.

Within those walls I would never be,

My sound mind and education would set me free

To be, I thought, whatever I wanted to be.

Isn’t that what mama told me?

I didn’t cuss, I didn’t cuss

I wanted to and I felt I might bust

As I tried to keep hurt from turning to hate

To call on sweet Jesus before its too late.

I needed Him to help me carry the weight.

Contents under pressure, straining to pour out

Lifting my burdens with the sound of a shout.

I wanted to cuss, I wanted to cuss, I did not feel

There was anyone I could trust.

But I learned cussing won’t ease this pain.

So I wait, Holy Spirit, for your comfort, rest and rain.

I didn’t cuss.

When people and circumstances cause you pain, you can still trust the Lord. Check out Donnie McClurkin’s beautiful song “I’ll Trust You.”

I think it is time that we pay our last respects to our dearly departed iconic Central Area spots that we’ve loved, and yet never properly mourned. I was born and raised in Seattle, and it has been my home for almost 60 years (oowee).  As a child, I resided with my family at a number of locations including 15th and Cherry, 18th and Jefferson, 28th and Norman, and the Yesler Terrace. My aunt and uncle owned a house on 28th and Norman, where much of my childhood was spent. Additionally,  my uncle owned two record shops in Seattle: Summerrise World of Music on 12th and Jackson and the Wholesale House on Rainier Ave South across the street from Boraccini’s bakery. For some residents, these were good, prosperous times in the Central Area. Recently, however, the Central Area looks less and less like the Black community of the past, and it makes me sad. I feel a sense of grief and loss for what once was a thriving community. 

Earlier this week I drove past the southeastern corner of 23rd and Jackson, a site formerly known as Promenade 23. I witnessed for the first time, a huge, beautiful new complex. My first thought was “how many Black people will be living there?” I was not excited about this new building because it did not represent something that “belonged” to the community. Instead I felt resentful. I’m being honest. In the months I spent watching this building taking shape, I felt the need to mourn that particular block of the Central Area. Gentrification has continued at an alarming rate in the Central Area. I do not claim to have the answers as to how this trend will be reversed. This blog post is my cathartic way of mourning for the Central Area. Join me now for the Memorial Service for the Central Area. I think I hear the community gathering, and they are singing “Oh my lord, lord, lord, lord. Oh my lord, lord, lord, lord. Um hmm, um hmm, uh mmm.”

ORDER OF SERVICE

OPENING SONG “Back Down Memory Lane” By Minnie Riperton (click on link) https://youtu.be/82vJHFg33NkT

Old testament reading Lamentations 3: 22-23

New testament reading Revelations 21:4

Community Reading “I Remember the Central District in a Special Way”

“Today we are going on an imaginary trip through the old Central District. We will name and remember favorite local spots that no longer exist. Some of these sites were businesses,  stores, schools and restaurants. There is no need to hold back your tears, cry as loud as you want when we visit these places. There should be plenty of tissue available. Here we go…

Summerrise World of Music 12th and Jackson (not actually in the CD, but it was owned by my uncle and he lived in the CD and he served the community)
RL’s Home of Good Bar-B-Q Yesler Way (The best barbecue in Seattle, hands down! Cash only, and there was an accompanying sign that read”In God We Trust, All Others Pay Cash”)
Little’s Mini Mart – Corner of 17th and Jefferson across from Providence Hospital
Inez’s Kitchen 12th & Jefferson
La Mediterranean (Black owned restaurant near Seattle U, and a favorite of my husband’s when we were attending SU)
Central Area Motivation Program 722 18th Ave. (The original can never be replaced. My aunt, cousin and my husband were all employed here at one time. My son injured his head at the park next door when he was four, resulting in his first stitches. Luckily his big sister was there and rescued him.)

Liberty Bank – 24th & Union (a Black owned bank, where I had an account)
Frank’s corner store 24th & Jackson (I used to buy red ginger and lemon here)
Jordan’s Drugs – Cherry St. (open for  late night prescriptions)
Catfish Corner ML King Jr. & Cherry (I know they have new locations, but nothing beats the OG spot and staff)
Promenade 23 – Includes Red Apple, Joy Unlimited Christian Bookstore, Lady Legs Hosiery, Welch’s Hardware Store
BJ’s Beauty Supply 24th & Jackson 
Hidmo Eritrean Cuisine 20th & Jackson (Rest in Peace Rahwa Habte)

Heritage House/Cotton Club Martin Luther King Jr. Way S. & S. Dearborn ( the R&B group Blue Magic performed there)
Carol’s Essentials Gift Shop 23rd Ave. in the post office plaza
Helen’s Diner 23rd Avenue & Union
Thompson’s Point of View Off Union
Philly’s Best (original location on 23rd and Union)
Sammy’s Burgers 26th & Union (you needed patience and courage to order from this place)
Eddie Cotton’s on Madison (home of the Soul burger and the best shakes)
East Madison Valley Cleaners (my mother worked here for L.B. Haynes. He called me “Small Fry”)
S.O.I.C. on Madison and Jackson (my aunt Hellyne worked there as did many African Americans in the 80’s)
Deano’s on Madison (this is for somebody out there)
Oscar’s on Madison (who’s spot was this?)

Special Salute to South Seattle’s historic past (Read silently, but loud sobbing allowed)
Reflective musical tribute  SOUF by Rell Be Free https://youtu.be/t2RtX9oK3rA

Zion Preparatory Academy (both of my children attended Zion Prep at both of the locations. Is there even a marker?)
Rainier Cinema Columbia City (it was our Black theater)
Unforgettable’s Gift Shop Rainier Plaza
The Wellington Tea Room (my daughter’s 8th birthday was celebrated here)
Southwest Mortuary at Rainier & Henderson

Parting View Yesler Terrace (our family resided at 911 Alder, Apt 799)

Recessional song        “It’s So Hard to Say Goodbye to Yesterday”  By G.C. Cameron https://youtu.be/_ybSbqV5ll4

This concludes our service in memory of the Black Central District and surrounding neighborhoods. The community is welcome to celebrate the passing of these iconic places by regularly supporting our local Black businesses still in existence. Together we can keep hope alive!

p.s. Please share any fond memories you may have of the CD in the comments. God bless you.

Scripture verse:

Psalm 103:10

“he does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities.”

How often does the saying or thought, “that’s what you get” come from your lips or to your mind. Never? You’re good. Often? Let’s pray! I think we all can be guilty of this offense if we are honest. Most recently the thought “that’s what you get” came to mind when several people were infected with Covid 19, after attending gatherings known as “super spreader” events. We read the headline and say or think, “See that’s what you get, didn’t nobody tell you to go to a superspreader event”. Or when something bad happens to someone who has wronged us or a loved one, the initial thought is “That’s what you get”. We somehow feel vindicated. Can I tell on me? When something bad happens to folks that offend us, we should not say, “that’s what you get for messing with me”. That is NOT God. That is coming from our flesh and it is sinful. Oh, it is difficult to really BE and represent God on a daily basis. Our flesh is at war constantly with his spirit. Psalm 103:10 says “he does not give US what we deserve.” That is me and you. Even so, we find it hard to extend this same grace to others? I am going to do my best to stop the thought “that’s what you get” from taking over when I am tempted. I want to be more like Christ in ALL my ways. Will you take the challenge with me?

Happy birthday to my sweet aunt Hellyne Summerrise, born September 23, 1925. She would be 95 years old today. I miss her so much and wish I could talk to her about many things going on in the world today. I thought of all she did in her life to promote civil rights, and how she and my mother were true sisters that loved and supported each other through thick and thin. I thought about her love of reading and how she would stay up late at night to finish a book. I was in awe of how fast she finished books. Now my daughter Kaila reads books just as fast. She even got in trouble (good trouble) for sneaking off to read in elementary school. Aunt Hellyne has passed down her love of books and knowledge to our family. She also loved the television shows “Little House on the Prairie” and “Matlock”. You had better not call her when her shows were on, unless you wanted to talk to yourself. Just by coincidence, I got a chance to watch Matlock this morning and I see why she was hooked. My husband only watched for a few moments and it even made him chuckle! Matlock still brings back sweet memories of my aunt.

You may think you know the love of a sibling, but Hellyne’s love for my mother was so deep she would take her spankings! She could not stand to see my mother hurting. That is real love. My uncle Bob once said he thought he would have to take my mother on his honeymoon with them because they were so close. To know or experience that level of love is something that would benefit our hurting world today. The bible says in John 15:13, “Greater love hath no one than to lay down their life for a friend”. I believe my aunt had that level of love for her sister. She and my mom simply loved being together. One of their delights was going to the Rainier Wendy’s “all you can eat” salad bar. They almost always got the same items: salad bar, chili and maybe a Wendy’s single (no cheese for Hellyne). They loved the buffet style restaurants like Royal Fork and King’s Table. When Jerrell was young, Hellyne and Bob often took him to eat at Zoopas near Southcenter. I don’t know if he realized they were starting him out on the healthy food regiment he now upholds. Back then, it was just time with Nana and Papa (smile).

If my aunt were here today I would surely see her out marching for justice as she did when she marched with Dr. King the one time he visited Seattle. She would be in the middle of talks about justice because everyone would certainly want to know “What does Mrs. Summerrise think?” She had the kind of spirit and energy that made people listen and pay attention. She was not E.F. Hutton but she had that effect on folks. She protested against apartheid and had the great honor of meeting Nelson Mandela when he visited Seattle. My aunt liked the spotlight, but she did not grandstand or try to get notoriety for herself. It was about peace, fairness and justice for all people. She would not be happy that the nation is so divided today. She also would not approve of protests that are not peaceful. She did not stand for foolishness. She would want everyone to be heard.

My aunt Hellyne would encourage all people to vote because of the sacrifices our ancestors made. Lately, I have started to get apathetic about voting, due to personal hurt. I know, I know! She would not like that at all, but I am being honest. She would say, “Nevermind, Shawn Kismet! Now you know better, get your behind out there and vote!” Make no mistake, I will be voting in the November 2020 election, if only to honor the memories of my mom and aunt Hellyne.

Happy birthday Aunt Hellyne. I love and miss you. Thank you for loving our family and teaching us to be proud of who we are. Thank you for the protective love you provided my mother. I believe your love for her made a true difference in her life. Thank you for all you did to make the world a better place, and for being a drum major for justice and peace. I wish you were here to comfort me and tell me, “it’s gonna be all right.” Your spirit still lives on in your family.

There was a recent music battle between Patti LaBelle and Gladys Knight. In my aunt Hellyne’s mind, there would be no battle, Gladys would win hands down! This is her favorite song of all time, at least to my knowledge:). Enjoy “Midnight Train to Georgia”.

Isaiah 61: 1-3 “The spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me, because the Lord has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion – to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendor.”

This has not been fun. The coronavirus is not funny, it is not a joke, it is not fake news. It is real, it is deadly and it is insidious. We had no personal control over the virus and could not stop it on our own. It was going to affect everyone, white and black, rich and poor, from the White House to my house, we have all been forced to live a new normal. Like it or not.

As the virus spread throughout Washington, it felt like being in a horror movie like the 1960’s movie “Invasion of the Body Snatchers”. Who would be next to catch the virus? Would it be me or someone I love? Anything was possible.

While we waited anxiously to see who was being affected by the virus, it was very easy to act as if this was something to brush off and it would simply go away. Hardly. When Seattle Public Schools closed on March 12th, people started thinking about this a little differently, like maybe it was more serious than they originally thought.

The Life Care Center in Kirkland, Washington continued to be the epicenter with elderly patients dying almost daily. But still, that did not bother most people because we were thinking, “I’m not old, my body is not vulnerable”. Wrong thinking. There have been people saying, “Black people are not getting the virus.” Wrong thinking again! Black people have gotten the virus and some have died from it. I believe we are finally getting to the place of understanding the seriousness of COVID 19. I know, because some people are showing their true colors by their behavior. There are those who have hoarded much needed sanitizer, toilet paper, masks and paper towels. They have bought these items in excess without regard for the needs of others. The spirit of greed has played out in the aisles of Costco and other drugstores. Just the other day as I returned to my car from Bartell’s drug store, a man getting in the car next to me shouted “There are no masks in this world, this is sh.t!!” I just looked at him, said “I know”, and calmly tried to get in my car. In a nearby Rite Aid drugstore, a man was so angry he began cursing in the aisle. When he saw me and another lady look up, he calmed down for a moment to say “Excuse me”. He too was angry about the limited supply of items available in the store.

Well, I know you’re probably thinking, “I thought this was about beauty for ashes”. I am getting to it, just be patient. I wanted you to know why the idea even came to me. A few days ago, my son sent me a series of pictures from his childhood that he edited to show his sentiment about the coronavirus. The pictures you are seeing in this post were taken during a family outing at Universal City Walk, Hollywood when he was just three years old (1995). We had stopped at a dancing water fountain that randomly sprang up at different intervals. He thought it was amazing and fun. I was able to take pictures of him at different times while he played in the fountain. The last photo shows him crying because he got completely soaked! When he sent me the edited version of the photos, I was so tickled as they accurately depicted my feelings about the current situation we are in.

While COVID 19 is not funny in the least, we have to keep living and do our best to keep our heads up and find joy in our day to day lives. Believe me when I say I am encouraging myself while I encourage you! Isaiah 61:3 says, “To bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, and the oil of joy instead of mourning”. All I can say is “HALLELUJAH!” I need that! I believe we all need it. We need spiritual restoration from the devastating effects of the coronavirus on our world. So when my son sent me those photos, it made me smile and realize that I could still have a sense of humor. I could laugh and be joyful, and openly share that I am grateful to be alive and healthy. Make no mistake, that does not mean it is okay to make fun or light of those who have been or still are affected by the coronavirus. We should be showing love, kindness, grace and mercy to all. We are responsible for helping each other through this pandemic. We still have life, which means we still have time to pray and unselfishly give of our time and talents to help one another through this season. We have time to take groceries to someone in need, give cash to someone in need, make meals for someone, or call those you have not checked on for a while. There are many ways to make a difference right now, to give your neighbor the gift of “beauty for ashes”. I hope you are not one of the people who have hoarded items that are needed by others. If you do have extra supplies, please share them with someone who does not have as much. The Lord requires us “to take care of orphans and widows” (James 1: 27)!

What are you doing to give “beauty for ashes”? I know that WA-BLOC (Washington Building Leaders Of Change) is leading “Feed the Beach” and providing food to 150-200 Rainier Beach residents every Tuesday and Thursday. They have been leading this effort since March 13th. They are way ahead of everyone else. My employer, Seattle Municipal Court, is paying my salary right now, even though I am not able to work from home, and I am grateful. My husband’s non-profit organization, Rainier Beach Action Coalition, closed for two weeks starting March 25th. RBAC leadership made the decision to pay staff during the closure. Say Amen somebody! My sister Fai delivered a lemon meringue pie to my doorstep. My neighbor, Dr. Polly Fabian is providing our family with important information about COVID 19 and staying healthy, my friend Annjanette sends me articles and ministry materials to strengthen my faith, my cousin Daryl and my friend Carliss send scriptures to strengthen my faith, and my neighbor Scott edged my grass just because he is a good neighbor. My son even brought over a care package that included gummy vitamins, a bag of frozen tater tots (HILARIOUS), batteries and a disposable camera to photo chronicle this unprecedented time. These things are beauty for ashes for me. Let me know what restores you and your family during this time. What is your beauty for ashes, oil of joy and garment of praise? May God continue to bless you and keep you healthy.

Enjoy this song by Mary Mary, “Can’t Give Up Now”.